Entry Twenty One: Different in POV

Told from Kailey's point of view...

Thinking to herself.. "This rain is really coming down, I can barely see"

Pulling into Tracey and Elizabeth's apartment complex the car plows through the already expanding puddle.

Kailey gets out and pulls her hood over her long brown hair. 

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit!" Kailey screams as her size six feet jump from puddle to puddle on her way up the wooden stairs. Outside for only a matter of seconds and she is already soaked. Bounding up the stairs she notices that all lights are off in Tracey and Elizabeth's apartment; "Those bitches better let me in quick, it's freaking cold out here"

As she walks towards the front door she knocks and waits....and waits....

Knock, knock, knock rapping on the door more forcefully, thinking "What the hell is going on?!?"

She pulls out her phone and dials Amanda's number. No Answer. 

Seconds later Kailey feels her phone vibrate in her hand, the screen reads "Roommate"

"Hello? Amanda where are you?!?" says Kailey her anger fuming

“I’m sitting at Tracey and Elizabeth’s apartment and there is someone outside the door!”

"“Amanda! It is me outside! Remember I told you I was going to come over? Let me in it is pouring out here!!!”

Entry Twenty: Character Biography

Elizabeth Brown biography:

Twenty years old

College student

Born in a small town in Missouri

She has two brothers, they get a long most of the time--want to kill each other the rest of the time

She goes to a big University

Excellent student but refuses to admit it

Plays basketball

Majoring in International Business

Parents: Dad is CEO for a large corporation and Mom stays at home

She has a Great Dane named Lucy

Entry Nineteen: Memorandum

It is hard to determine what my goal is for this short story. I do not like where it is at the moment and I am not really sure where I am going to go in terms of improvement. I want to write a story that demonstrates that I am capable of writing more than just memoirs and analysis papers. I want readers to enjoy reading my short story and not grimace at the end because it was too cliche or not interesting enough. I expect this writing to be better than the original copy, but I don't expect it to be better than any of my other final drafts and I am not planning on this piece making it into my portfolio. As far as expectations for my readers, I expect them to understand that this  kind of writing is the most difficult for me and that this piece probably won't be my strongest.

Entry Eighteen: Dreams

I am woken up by Lucy, my fawn and black colored Great Dane, who has decided to bound on my side of the king sized bed and lick my face mercilessly. The sun streams in through the huge window at the other end of our master suite. I love summer vacations. My husband left for work about an hour ago, but not before leaving me a post it note saying that he loved me and would see me tonight at sand volleyball; which we play with a few other couples every Friday night. I get up and go across the hall to check on the kids, knowing I should let them sleep a little longer before waking them up. We will go visit my parents and swim in their neighborhood pool, despite the fact we have our own in our backyard. I love getting to see my parents regularly and so do the boys, probably because they are spoiled by Grandma and Grandpa Barnes. I wake up and eat a bowl of cereal and let Lucy outside. After I've taken care of somethings around the house, I go outside and sit on one of the chaise lounges and read my book occasionally throwing the ball to Luce. I laugh as she runs across our freshly mowed grass; her long legs striding as though she is a horse in the Kentucky Derby. I hear a commotion upstairs and I know the boys are up. "Better go inside and get breakfast ready!" I say to Lucy and she runs inside insisting on getting to the kitchen before me. Sleepily they shuffle into the kitchen and ask if we are still going to "Grams and Pops'" today. "As soon as you eat breakfast and get your trunks on" I say. The scarf down a bowl of Lucky Charms and race upstairs to be the first one ready. Twenty minutes later we load up the SUV and drive the twenty minutes to my parents. When we pull in, my mom is already outside watering her plants saying that she has been waiting for us to show up! As we walk inside my mom hands me a big glass of iced tea as we head to the pool for the rest of the day. . .

Entry Seventeen: Conversation Revisited

The two athletes (presumably football players) are sitting across from each other eating lunch...

"Dude, I gotta tell you something"
"What's up?"
"You know Ashley?"
"Yeah man, obviously I know Ashley...why are you asking?"
"Well after you left last night, she kind of stayed over..."
"Are you kidding me? What the hell man?"
"I know I'm sorry, but you weren't going to do anything right? And I mean she came on to ME, what was I supposed to do?"
"Not hook up with her, that's what you should have done."

The one gets up and storms off, the other is sitting there looking like an idiot.

Entry Sixteen: Response to "An Interview with My Husband"

In "An Interview with My Husband" Debra Di Blasi uses formalism to add depth to her situation with her husband. I was able to gain a greater insight to the love she felt for her husband and the insecurities that grew out of that love. I felt sad for her because I don't think love should increase one's insecurities and I hated her husband for not showing concern or care for the fact that his wife was hurt. She used the techniques of flashbacks and lists to demonstrate the love she had for Javier and the lack of love she received in return. I enjoyed this piece and how it was written and think it added a lot to the story.